Courting Destiny

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A diatribe

By

I would take this down. Needed to vent. But know it will live on in readers so….. A large part of me feels like an idiot for writing this. Spoiled. Not thinking about people who really have it tough. Self-obsessed. I need somebody to yell at me and tell me how horrible I am for writing this. But therein lies the problem…
I put the rest in draft as this was horrible and self-loathing and let’s just blame it on the heat. I’m sweating; not glistening and my face was sweating as I walked into the ocean –something that’s never happened to me before
My reality is that I’m an incurable optimist who thrashes too many things out for too long. I thought I was over that but moving and everything that’s happened in the past three years has brought too much to the surface.
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Then I walk four blocks to the beach, actually sit in the fierce gray/brown waves with teal teasing at the horizon and forget everything but how incredible the world is.

Comments

  1. Wow. That was a diatribe, albeit with a nice ending.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t think it was a mistake to stop trying to compete as a blogger. I don’t know who any of the women panelists are and I’m not interested to know. I know who Pia is. Speaking for myself, there’s an aspect of being a famous problem-blogger panelist that seems to elevate the problem above the person.

  2. @Doug
    Thanks Doug. I know this is both hard to read and hard to comment to
    I have never played the blame game but I wish the results of the tests had been presented to me in a manner that I could have accepted them in. Instead of devoting my life to proving him wrong I could have worked on changing them and realized my potential and limitations
    I’m tired of making excuses for everybody but me and accepting all fault. I understand that it was the early days but it was still the late 80’s and I was willing to do whatever it took but be patronized and spoken to as if I were an idiot

  3. Sometimes diatribes are good. I am not aware of much of blogher I think if m life was a bloggers life I might be but having read many of their postings it all seems so bland and lifeless, disappointing almost. Just as with many of the networks they are all the standard stuff all taken from somewhere else. It hard to find creatives, new idea, new stories, or new angles. I thinK we’re most likely to find them in the flesh where we stand.

  4. @COOPER
    I think flesh lives are the only ones worth living. Been finding out exactly what a “people” person I am. But that’s the next post and a positive one at that

  5. Hi Pia, just wanted to say thank you for your blogs on NVLD. My son (almost 5) has a learning disorder that is not defined yet (Dr.’s say its visual motor), but reading your blog, gave me a lot of insight into my son and what may be going through his mind and what may lie ahead for him…also gave me pause to consider that I may have this disorder too. I have ADD and it never crossed my mind that I may have ‘more’ than ADD until I read your stuff. You are an inspiration and thank you so much for putting yourself out there!! Much love from NJ 🙂 Kris