This is an absolutely true non fiction story that happened on Thursday but we’re going to pretend it happened today. It could have
I was walking in the crosswalk outside of Bilo when a car came out of nowhere. I jumped onto the curb very very quickly. The woman was opening her window to yell at me–you could tell from her face when she saw the crowd of angry people and sped off.
They weren’t angry at me but ready to mob her as she had been going fast in a shopping center parking lot. A place where people, by definition, walk. This wasn’t me practicing defensive walking. I walk therefore I get defensive in an area where the car is king. People kept talking to me until I left the shopping center. Apparently I was very lucky as she came an inch or so away from me.
I laughed my way home as my hair salon is in that shopping center and I could picture what the girls in the salon would have done had I been killed. I am a very good customer.
Then I went to the beach. Now North Myrtle is in the midst of a tent controversy. Too many people bring tents and put them on the first line to the shore line. Sometimes they connect five or more tents. This isn’t good either for people like me who just bring chairs or more importantly for life guards who not only have to see but run in case of emergency. The way people have been talking about tents in the local papers you would think they’re as important to good moral character as motherhood, apple pie and lack of taxes. Really. Somehow all this gets tied together in letters. It makes my day.
So I looked for a space as far from tents and from umbrellas as possible. I plunked down my stuff and began to read. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a giant very heavy umbrella falling–coming straight for my head. I took my right fist and punched it away from me. The ten people who belonged to the umbrella couldn’t stop telling me how they had almost killed me and how sorry they were. They talked to each other about what a close call it had been. Really I was unaware but must have been vigilante because of the earlier incident. I told the people about it. They were insistent that I go home.
I didn’t. I took my chair and put it in the water as I love sitting in the water. Then I went out beyond the breakers and body surfed. Normally that scares me if I’m alone or don’t have a boogie board but I figured today is my lucky day.
Still fourteen more minutes to go
Unfortunately, even if they said they were sorry, they weren’t. They were inconsiderate idiots that were selfish. Yes, having shade is important, especially for fair-skinned people who are prone to skin cancer…but that doesn’t give them the right to endanger the people that are around them, especially if they were there first.
I think the anchoring etiquette practiced by sailors makes sense. If you get there after someone else, and they’re not comfortable with you or the way you’re doing things….you have to move.
Ah, I’m sure you have until high tide.
Why would they insist you go home? That’s crazy. You were there first.
@TC Oh they thought I was having a spate of bad luck and were waiting for the third thing to happen
@Adriftatsea I like to think most people are good. They seem to be moving tents further from the shore since all the publicity
@Doug
like the beach at low tide–when you spend half your time moving your stuff further and further from what was the shoreline
Appeals to the rule maker in me From mid-October to mid-May I just walk on the beach. From mid-May to August I can’t go to the beach except to walk before 4:30 PM. Something about not turning into a beach bum!
I totally understand the tent dilemma. What harm is it to them should they be made to park their tents a distance away. Around here the cabanas have to be behind the lifeguards. The umbrellas I think have more leeway but they too are back aways from the water line.
I want to body surf, to taste the salt on my lips, to dive into the wavs and pop up on the other side… Wow, what a day, it could be your lucky day or it could just be the day you get to experience idiots. By the way, walking or bicycling in Michigan (the car state) isn’t safe either.
@cooper
Last year there were very few tents. This year it’s become an American tradition. By next year if you don’t have a tent you don’t love America 🙂 Not but the letters read like that
@sage
It’s best in August like corn and tomatoes. The waves are short and choppy–remnants of the storm. The ocean’s teal.
I like to think it’s one of many many lucky days 🙂
LOVED this story! 🙂
I was picturing you as some kind of super hero in the umbrella incident. Really. We’ll call you Pin-Up Girl. I think it could work. You’d have to wear pink though 🙂
I hope and trust you survived the last fourteen minutes.
@Bone
Thanks! It’s all true. I think I might be bringing back the Pin-Up so….But a more sophisticated version. That’s one of the things I have to spend the rest of the summer not consciously thinking about. Sure
I survived. Friday and Saturday it rained. Went to the beach yesterday and for some reason have absolutely no desire to go today. Isn’t that weird? Give yourself permission to do nothing, but be a beach bum not that there’s anything wrong with that, and you get all ambitious