Courting Destiny

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They let me own a house?

By

Sunday night I went to bed about 12:30. I felt something that felt very much like crushed glass pounding into my leg (yes I know that feeling firsthand.) I moved my arm to my leg and felt the same sensation on my arm. I looked down and ran out of bed.

It was too late to call anybody so I emailed Bone. At the time I was in denial that it was a spider because yuck. Thought about sending him pictures of the bites but my general sense of decorum won this round. I wanted somebody to know about the bite and the date to be on record. OK bugs make me hysterical. I stayed up as long as possible but knew I would have to face a bed sooner or later. I slept in the guest room.

Obviously I was still alive in the morning but the bites looked worse. I walked into the bedroom and the spider was still on the bed. I felt sick. Not too sick to declare war. Only lady bugs are acceptable. I also have lizards and snakes–hopefully not poisonous ones in my irregular sized plot that used to be gross weeds with some grass trying and failing to grow. Now it’s three levels of wood decks. I accept bugs outside. They’re not allowed inside and should know that.

I didn’t have any bug spray as I have an exterminator and no need for spray usually so I took Lysol Clean Up and sprayed the spider for at least two minutes until it finally died. I didn’t care if I ruined the bedding and mattress. This was war. Did I tell you I love my mattress?

I took the bedding and not just washed it but put it through a bleach and then a sanitary cycle. Apparently in war cleanliness counts more than anything.

Eldon, contractor, handyman and househusband came over. Yes I knew I had three more days before the venom could spread. Or did I know this? I had taken a Benadryl so was kinda out of it. And the rain. After months of no rain it wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t stay awake from general malaise I suffer from in temperatures under 80something with high humidity. I need heat and humidity to feel human.

Eldon made a lot of fun of me. Fortunately I had both neosporin and benadryl Gel and used them both probably canceling out each other’s effectiveness.

It’s been almost a week and you can’t see the bites or the swelling anymore. But each night before I go to bed I check my bed for spiders. A girl can’t be too careful.

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I hope that The Tea Party understands no matter what happens they have lost by holding the country hostage to phony “principles.” Raise the now and worry later.
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I don’t do ads on Courting. I change the password often and need the password every day to enter my blog. Don’t get this. The ads link back to WebMD via smart link. I don’t make a cent and have no idea what to do to stop this. I use the latest versions of Askimet and Bad Behavior. It’s not that I wouldn’t make money from the blog if the right opportunity presented itself; it’s the idea that this can be done. Courting isn’t even popular anymore and hasn’t been for years! I just personally love it
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Comments

  1. I came in partially intoxicated from too much wine at a Thai restaurant, saddened by an argument with a someone who is really not that significant, and sadder still because of the lack if importance,…then I read this and wanted to hug you. I swear I will be you one day. I take benadryl and prednisone with me when I hike so that if anything bites me I can take it immediately to stave off a reaction… crazy we are ,and if someone would give me adrenalin I’d probably take that too.

    You can never be too careful.

  2. You should always be very careful and suspicious of spider bites. I live in New Orleans and know several people, including my husband, who’ve been bitten by the brown recluse and required surgery. Fortunately, my husband didn’t require surgery due to our knowing to get help immediately but we had to dish out hundreds of dollars for the powerful antibiotic he had to take. His whole leg became swollen and he had a black pit at the bite site that grew as the venom ate his tissue. He still has a scar. Spider bites are nothing to laugh at. I’m glad you’re better!

  3. I can’t tolerate any kind of insect in the house. I have the house sprayed for insects every three months. It works, but of course SPIDERS aren’t insects.

    Insects have 6 legs and are divided into three parts. Spiders have 8 legs, and their bodies aren’t segmented. I HATE SPIDERS. And snakes. But don’t get me started.

  4. OK, I am terribly sorry and this was terribly funny. Somehow, the transition from the fable of Lysol and The Spider to a comment on the tea party was the funniest part.

  6. @cooper
    Thai food and wine don’t really go so it’s good breeding grounds for an argument with somebody who isn’t really important.

    I never thought about carrying around adrenline. Ha! I keep neosporine in both bathrooms, the kitchen and in my backpack for travel. Should probably get a beach first aid kit together now that I have a beach cart that actually works.

    For your sake I hope you don’t turn into me 🙂

  7. It was too late to call anybody so I emailed Bone.

    Oh, if I had a nickel.

    I used to kill spiders, any bugs really, with hairspray when I was growing up. The hairspray wasn’t mine. Just feel I need to make that clear.

    I also killed quite a few ants last night on the patio. A few survived, but they’ll be recovering for days.

    This was hilarious. I mean, knowing that you are OK, it is.

  8. I have a simple deal…if they don’t get seen, they don’t get killed… 🙂 That goes especially true for beasties that invade my boat…

  9. I’m just happy to be up north where the spiders that bite pretty much keep to the woods

    like Cooper, I am sending you hugs, but I’m afraid the signal isn’t strong enough. Alas.