This is a story without a true beginning or a theme.
Yes I began Courting on August 13, 2004, not really knowing what a blog was nor understanding that a blog should represent a brand, and/or have a theme; be marketing friendly, totally optimized for search engines.
Yet had I known all that I would have had to have been a seer, and nobody’s ever called me one.
I wish I had begun it or some kind of computer journal on September 11, 2001 because–uh, I’m a New Yorker who obviously hadn’t lived through anything like that before.
The next month my mother died suddenly. And I realized I knew nothing.
BAM. BASH. CRASH.
I would never be the same person again.
So I became a (way older) girl with a blog.
But not just a blog.
A blog that was constantly mentioned; “A” ranked by Technorati, then the blog ranking system.
If I could remember I would tell you all the little awards Courting won; and the big contests it was leader of the finalists in.
But what would that do? Nobody remembers them.
Blogging is only as old as yesterday.
We who were in our own ways blogging pioneers usually didn’t do it to make money.
I began blogging thinking it would be a great way to practice writing and seelng unedited words in print.
A lot of people would say my unedited words were a word salad of mushy soggy over cooked way too many words.
Others would say it was perfect.
Me, I just liked to write.
I became known for my politics. Oh the comments they generated—hate mail that was unbelievably personalized, wishing me dead, wishing me mental illness, wishing me a horrible life.
The day I realized you can just push “delete”was one of the happiest of my life.
But I can’t help but be proud:
That I never backed down.
That I always took chances.
I said blogging was like being on a high wire without a safety net.
What I didn’t say was that I am balanced challenged.
My pre-blogging friends laughed, and otherwise made fun of me when I began blogging.
Then when I began to get a lot of publicity, and finally Psychology Today asked me to blog I regained their respect. Oh shut up, you know that’s true!
Then I lost it because everybody has a neighbor or a cousin or a friend who self–published, became an Amazon best seller and found an old school publisher.
What’s writing anyway but stringing words together? Anybody can do it. Anybody can write. Anybody can do it.
I have to get that refrain out of my head and write for me.
A lot has happened in the past eleven years to me, personally, and to the world.
I left New York and moved to the last place I ever expected to end up–South Carolina. A move very much precipitated (not in a bad way) on the wings of my blogs.
But first I learned I had an invisible disability. Then I preceded to have a very public breakdown over it.
It, and the loss of my mother; how quickly my city was changing–I was observing it through a fun house mirror, and the people in my life stood open mouthed unable to help themselves so unable to help me.
I’m a very proud person. A person who never asks for help, and probably wouldn’t if I were drowning yet able to ask. So my asking–it meant everything.
I learned there’s one person I can always depend on, and some I could depend on before and can depend on now.
But the times they broke and/or changed us all in one way or another.
It amazes me how many people claim expertise in social media.
Blogging is the backbone and if you don’t know blogging you don’t know squat.
Who do I dare think I am for saying such things? When so many else have come after, not late to the party but just on time, and profited?
I would be lying if I didn’t say money conquers much.
That year of wonder and horror, 2008, sure taught me that.
I’m so going to have this book together this year. Or hang up the blogging blankie. Or blog for dinero.